like twitter but only for me
1/30/2024: guy who's never smoked but buys nicotine gum for the flavor
1/27/2024: i think "how many people want to fuck the cat in the hat" would be a really interesting question if not for the live action film skewing the results.
1/26/2024: why do smoke detectors even use batteries. why dont we just plug those suckers in. "they're on the ceiling" okay then run power through the ceiling. dumbass.
1/22/2024: guy who goes to the gas station just to watch the little videos they play on the pump screens
1/19/2024: there's gotta be people who've used the little "audio jungle" voice clip as a sample in music right. i wonder how common that is it feels like an obvious joke to do.
1/15/2024: the fact that we still use x as the default variable in algebra is fucked up. like that's already the multiplication symbol. if you used literally any other letter this wouldn't be a problem.
1/12/2024: we have vice principals but i think it would be a better example if they were virtue principals instead.
1/10/2024: every edit of that "you're listening to" meme that ends with imagine dragons that does like, a thematic cover of the song is missing the point. the whole joke is that radioactive by imagine dragons doesn't fit the hard rock station. that's the whole reason it's funny that's the punchline. annoys me every time i see it.
1/5/2024: i love how youtube animators have a different definition of "meme" than everyone else.
1/4/2024: has anyone made a cryptocurrency called "credits" yet. that's exactly the kind of stupid that crypto people appreciate.
1/1/2024: if i ever put a game on steam i'm gonna make it have like 500 steam trading cards. getting all the steam trading cards will be the hardest part of the game.
12/28/2023: it's so fucked up that you can only buy combos in the little bags at gas stations. they know i would be too powerful if i could buy giant family size bags of combos so they keep them from me.
12/27/2023: its so funny to me that michellin the tire company and michellin the resturaunt reviewers? yeah those are the same company. but hershey's ice cream and hershey's chocolate? two things that it would actually make sense for the same company to make? nah those are totally unrelated.
12/23/2023: in it's the most wonderful time of the year there's a lyric that goes "there'll be scary ghost stories." is that a thing. do people tell scary ghost stories on christmas. is this an old thing. we need to bring this back.
12/19/2023: "cell phone" and "self own" are pronounced too similarly
12/18/2023: if you take magic mushrooms does that make you a mushroom magician
12/15/2023: we say "groceries" but i've never heard anyone refer to something as a single grocery. gonna start doing this.
12/7/2023: people always assume the other reindeer didn't like Rudolph because of his glowing nose but the song never says that. maybe he was just an asshole.
11/29/2023: i will never be able to take any portmanteau for a content creator that has "tuber" in it seriously. like yeah alright potato boy.
11/28/2023: "iconoclast" is such a good word. underused.
11/26/2023: you think there's a like, a fandom for the macy's thanksgiving day parade. people who obsessively update a wiki and pop off in a voice chat watching it every year.
11/25/2023: they should make the opposite of discord slow mode where it works like the bus from speed.
11/4/2023: when was the last time a select button on a controller was actually used to select something.
11/4/2023: ranked competetive wedding shoe game is that anything.
10/28/2023: do people actually like rumble in controllers. like actively enjoy it rather than just tolerate it. i have never met this person.
10/27/2023: krark-clan ironworks? uh yeah i sure hope it does.
10/25/2023: if you make a milkshake that's really thick and then give me a plastic straw that's so thin that it just crumbles in on itself the moment you try to drink it i encourage you to reevaluate where your life choices have gotten you.
10/24/2023: i'm so glad i never got into geocaching. if i did that would've consumed my life i would've gotten way too into it.
10/17/2023: big fan of the word "seaworthy." thinking about getting really into calling things "seaworthy."
10/13/2023: i saw a real ice cream truck for the first time today. like the kind that just drives around and plays music. i've lived in the middle of nowhere for my whole life so i've just never experienced this before. and i'm sure the ice cream is good but wow that song is annoying. and it's so loud!
10/12/2023: how much of the reason puerto rico isn't a state is because the government doesn't want to have to ship out new flags to every government building in the country. and change all their letterheads and graphics and stuff.
10/11/2023: i love that we call pizzas "pizza pies". that's so good we don't appreciate that enough. like yeah that shit's a pie. love it.
10/10/2023: wanted to call someone a "ninny" today but before i did i had to check to make sure it wasn't racist. that feels like a word that could've been racist at some point.
10/8/2023: can you imagine how much the character design community would suffer if the human body didn't scar. like if it was able to perfectly heal wounds. think of all the thematic significance we would lose.
10/2/2023: who is responsible for those shitty little plastic bags they make you put produce in at the grovery store. the ones that are impossible to open. i need to know whose fault this is.
9/30/2023: anyone else ever do that thing where you imagine a little man running along a wall and jumping and climbing over all the obstacles. or am i just nuts.
9/27/2023: if i'm ever in a band i'm gonna name the first album "self titled" and then name the second one actually after the band. just to confuse people.
9/21/2023: the three stooges co op beat em up: you can beat up and push around your co op partners to extend combos and like pass enemies off to each other. some rudimentary physics game elements but not so much that it makes combo execution inconsistent
9/20/2023: playing wilds of eldraine limited makes you understand why yugioh players hate ash so much.
9/14/2023: you know those big tv screens that play the news that show up in movies when they need exposition. those aren't real are they. can you imagine living in an apartment across the street from one of those. they're loud enough that anyone on the sidewalk (or more often standing on a building across from them) can hear them. that would be the worst.
9/11/2023: if rain was a fictional worldbuilding concept i'd think it was very silly.
9/9/2023: big respect to sweet baby ray's for refusing to make their packaging look like their product is sold in more than like 2 stores.
9/9/2023: stolen bases are objectively the funniest rule in any major sport. like yeah dude you can just cheat. it's cool. as long as you don't get caught you're good.
9/8/2023: does anyone remember old chapter books you'd read in like third grade where characters would have "photographic memory" where they could just remmeber every detail of everything they'd ever seen. apparently that's like a real thing. what the hell.
9/7/2023: my shopping list currently contains two items: toilet bowl cleaner and beef broth. i hope i don't mix those two up.
9/6/2023: people always talk about tony hawk being sad about aging but the song he's most associated with by way of his video games (superman by goldfinger) is also about being sad about aging. the concept of "getting old and depressed" just follows this man
9/4/2023: superhero named "burning man" who doesn't get why everyone else thinks his name is so funny.
9/4/2023: "lagoon" is such a wonderful word.
9/3/2023: we only make one size of microwave. i think we are limiting ourselves. think about the size of the bag of popcorn you could cook in a really big microwave. (don't talk to me about making it with oil in a skillet that ruins the point)
9/2/2023: pasta salad is so fucked up. we go through all the effort of cooking the pasta and then we let it cool down again. it's wrong and bad and i won't stand for it.
8/30/23: not a new observation but god twitch plays pokemon was the coolest shit.
8/29/23: do you think there's some guy out there who's really into drinking water and having it go down the wrong pipe. in like a sexual way.
8/28/23: does anyone else rmemeber react world.
8/27/23: gay people booting up streets of rage 2 and listening to the song from the first level: um i um. i don't think i can do this.
8/27/23: it genuinely warms my heart that there's a tumblr fandom for 17776. shoutouts to football.